Casual sex is a mind f*ck. Tricky to say the least. For two consenting adults who are on exactly the same page, hooking up can be the perfect scratching post for a very particular itch. Casual sex takes many forms. You know the obvious ones: the one-night stand, the booty call, sex by appointment.
Yet, every flavor of casual sex—uncommitted, unemotional, purely carnal — is governed by the same rules. We list them below to help you sleep around better.
Only f*ck someone you would actually like. Like as in respect. Like as in, would introduce to your roommate if paths crossed in the kitchen the morning after. Like as in you are not creeped out when you wake up and they are next to you. If you want a punching bag, go to the gym – not the bedroom.
Be sex savvy. If you know you’re open to having casual sex, you should always be prepared. You need to protect yourself physically from an STI or unwanted pregnancy. Use a goddamn condom. I am sure you would rather be safe than sorry.
Space is nice. Part of being in a casual relationship is that you’re not spending all of your time together. More often than once or twice a week and you start to veer into “actual relationship” territory. You also should consider limiting communication outside of seeing each other in person as well. Texting back and fourth all day is more than just hooking up. Spending all your free time going back and forth on Facebook and phone calls “just to say hi” aren’t casual relationship behavior.
In casual sex, you should similarly check your emotions at the door. If you or your partner can’t ignore your feelings, reconsider the arrangement. Casual sex should be unemotional, not sociopathic.
You might find casual sex easier if you set some guidelines for yourself. If you don’t want to get into a relationship right now, don’t do anything relationship-y! Don’t go out on dates, don’t spend the night, don’t send cutesy text messages saying “I miss you.” Just basically do not treat him as a boyfriend figure, because he is not. You may also want to consider guidelines like not sleeping with people in your friend group or not sleeping with people who are looking for relationships.
Keep it light. The point of a casual relationship is that it’s supposed to be fun and easy-going. It’s about the thrill of the new coupled with the ability to seek out what the world has to offer without being tied down by obligations or expectations to any one person. I mean after all, isn’t that what we all want? If you’re in a casual relationship, you should consider keeping more towards activity dates, like playing pool or going out to dance. Similarly, you should keep the conversation light as well. More personal intimacy tends to imply greater interest in emotional commitment. The more you know, the more invested you will be.
Live in the now. Focusing on the present rather than the future helps keep things about being in the moment. Unless you’re being especially callous and pointedly excluding them from the picture, talking about the future implies that you’re expecting them to be part of it. Suddenly you went from hooking up to basically being married.
You must wait approximately three days after a first date before you contact someone again. You don’t want to come off as desperate or too interested. Often, people feel uneasy if the level of desire isn’t equal in a relationship. Being needy is also seen as a huge turn-off in today’s society. We like our significant others to be independent and strong, and apparently not waiting three days demonstrates weakness. Then again, who cares! If you had a good time meeting someone, you should let the person know whenever you feel it.
Whether you end up as friends or something more, careful relationship maintenance can keep things light, happy and enjoyable for everybody. Ready to get started and find your casual sex buddy today – head over to justbang.com the world’s #1 casual dating app.
Or want to learn more about casual sex? Check out the video below